This Is Not For The Squeamish

As if menopause has not been smacking me around enough, I'm having a D&C tomorrow. From eMedicineHealth:

The dilation and curettage procedure is called a D&C. The D stands for dilation, which means enlarging. Curettage (the C) means scraping. Together, this procedure involves expanding or enlarging the entrance of a woman's uterus so that a thin, sharp instrument can scrape or suction away the lining of the uterus and take tissue samples.

Scrape the inside of my uterus? Yuck and gross. Makes me feel like a clogged drain and you *know* what that looks like when you start pulling the gunk out.

Intellectually I know that this is a relatively simple procedure, and that it will help with excessive bleeding and cramps. But emotionally I feel sort of wrecked. I suspect it's a function of hormones running amok, but still... I'm all out of proportion nervous. The risks are not excessive, but I'm always leery of anaesthesia.

I'm also kind of pissed off at my body. I've taken pretty good care of my reproductive organs and don't understand why they are treating me so badly right now.

It doesn't help that I haven't slept for the whole night for weeks, and that I have a headache today and random hot flashes for no damn reason. I suspect I'm not alone in feeling betrayed (by my body), confused (hormone-induced fogginess), and scared (it is SURGERY after all) but why doesn't anyone ever tell you this stuff or talk about it?


UPDATE: The surgery was not really all that bad, actually. Thank goodness I feel that way since it was a giant FAIL due to an uncooperative cervix and I have to do it all again.

Happy New Year!

Just a quick post to say Happy New Year! I was so busy working at the end of the year, and figuring out what I want in 2009 that I had no time (or inclination) to post.

Lots of ups and downs with nasty menopause symptoms; they sure take an emotional toll. I'm working on taking it all in hand and developing a coping plan, but more on that later.

On the Fitness Front I'm still plugging away at fitness-building exercise. And it's still hard. But I have a plan there, too.

But for now, all the best for 2009 in health, fitness, and happiness.

xoxo-Owlette

Maybe Owlette's Name Should Be "Crabbie"

So y'all know that I am working pretty consistently on fitness; running and biking and really trying.

Since we started counting (I have an Excel chart called 2008 Fitness Spectacular that measures weight, body mass, and bust, waist, hips. It calculates everything and is a thing of beauty) I have gained and lost the same 5 pounds over and over. Beloved has lost 12 pounds and 6 inches. And she's not even trying. Today I am at the exact weight I started at.

This is wrong. Maybe it's hard to change your body past 40 for anyone, but that ain't nothin' compared to adding menopause to the mix. What is UP with that?

So now I'm crabby and it would be best if you didn't even look at me now. 'Cause I'll slap you as soon as look at you.