Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Real Week Two - Exhaustion and Tears (Part 1)

I'm in sort of a groove now - not looking forward to exercising but resigned to it. After a week of getting about an hour of dedicated exercise every day, I lost a grand total of half-a-pound. Although I remind myself that I am not dieting, I am still disappointed. The tape measure says I lost inches too, but I don't believe it.

What is that voice in my head that negates any positive action? It's a lot stronger than any other voice.

Beloved announces that we will ride down to World Trade Center to take the PATH train to my warehouse office in Jersey City. That's about 3 miles, plus a mile on the NJ side. All on city streets. Yikes. I had to rest twice, but I did it. I felt pretty good about that!

Riding home is a different story. To get to the train there are two hills - not steep (per se) but long. And steep enough that I huff and puff up them when I walk! I walk up both hills after a brief attempt at riding. I am embarrassed that I can't do it. It makes me pick a fight with Beloved. She shows admirable restraint. I am so tired after a day of work and riding back to the PATH station that we have to take the long way home because I feel too shaky. I walk up the slight incline to Broadway and we head across town to the Seaport. OH NO. Another hill up to Water Street. And this one with buses roaring past. I walk up on the sidewalk. I rest twice on the way home and hate myself.

I will never be able to do this (says the voice in my head, despite the fact that I DID do it.)

As of 5/4/08:


Total Lost
Weight 226.5

.5 lbs.
Bust 45"

1 in.
Waist 40"

1 in.
Hip 52.5"

.5 in.
BMI 40.02%

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