Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Real Week Two - Exhaustion and Tears (Part 2)

I know I am playing catch up on this - I really wish I had written it as it was happening because it was (is) so hard! And when I read other people's stories about achieving a difficult goal I find it much more inspiring if I can really feel the way it was -- the despair and elation, ya know? I'm trying to convey that...

If I didn't mention it before, fitness is the goal here. And not just any old fitness - Fitness as Job 1. That means that there is nothing more important than improving my health and nothing can stand in the way of that commitment.

And believe me, I have looked for something (anything!) to get in the way.

So at the track... still walking at least a mile. Most days I do a mile and a quarter. My calves hurt and I am convinced I am getting shin splints. I don't dare complain.

Beloved is running for parts of our workout. She is trying to make me run (not working) and is also trying to make me do weird exercises. I look like the ballet-dancing hippos from Fantasia and refuse to hop around like that.

I know that she has my best interests at heart, but it's all too much. Every day I dread the Exercise Hour. I feel huge and clumsy and like I will never get anywhere. Maybe I'm too old to start this program.

Since we usually bike the mile over to the track, by the time we get home I am FINISHED. Why do people say that exercise gives them energy? I can hardly move and am so stiff every hour of every day. At night when I get up from my desk or couch to go to bed I move like I'm 110.

What have I gotten myself into?

As of 5/4/08:


Total Lost
Weight 226.5

.5 lbs.
Bust 45"

1 in.
Waist 40"

1 in.
Hip 52.5"

.5 in.
BMI 40.02%

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